I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
