Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
