I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i wish my penis had a tongue
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
