Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
