They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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