Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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