I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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