Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize