Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
