Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
