Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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