so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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