i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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