I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
