I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize