Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Girls should come with a carfax report
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
