I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize