I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
