so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
