Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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