He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
