he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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