Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
