Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
