You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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