there's paper in my vomit.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
