Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize