if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she peed on how many people?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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