So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
