it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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