Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
