I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize