it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The power of my boobs compel you
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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