how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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