It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
