do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize