anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ladies don't puke and tell
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
