I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You were trust falling into bushes
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