dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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