he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
