I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
