some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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