Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
