If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
