There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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