it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
