His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
