You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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