so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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