nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
