Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
