As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize