he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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