now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
