Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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