apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
