there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
