Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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