Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
