Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
should my penis look like a turkey
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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