You made me cry and you don't even care
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
