I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
